MATTY'S MAULING

Matty Lamington spits out the latest crumbs from his overcooked paasion for the game of association football. Never one to back down Matty is happy to throw his opinions into the mix.

#1: 150 YEARS OF FAILURE

In 2008, the VFL or AFL or whatever they call it now (for 99.99% of the world who think I’m talking about a law firm or tropical disease, I’m talking about Australian Rules, Eggball, Boganball, Fumbleball – a peculiar game played in the southern parts of Australia) celebrate their 150th year, which itself is debateable.

Anyone involved in this sport, especially the puppets in the media in the city of Melbourne and the small towns of Adelaide and Perth, will tell you it’s the “greatest game in the world”. The reality is that this game, after 150 years of existence, is surely a HUGE failure.

In 150 years, VFL is only popular in four states of Australia (a country of only 21 million people) – Victoria, SA, WA and Tasmania – with a combined population of approximately 10 million; we could add another 2 million people from the rest of the country and perhaps the rest of the world (& that is being very, very, very kind as most of those following the game overseas would be ex pats from the States listed above) and the games’ pool of fans totals a measly 12 million people. For a game that has been around for so long yet blows it’s own trumpet so loudly, that is pathetic! Trampolining has managed to spread further.

That’s the thing that really gets to your typical VFL fan: no-one can see what a great game it is and they scratch their empty heads wondering why they can’t sit down every 4 years with a VB and meat pie to watch their country battle it out for the VFL World Cup. Maybe the fact that they nearly burst into tears if the state up the road wins a game doesn’t help with their quest for global domination. Or perhaps it’s the fact when non-VFL people watch their first game, they liken it to a pack of 8-year-old boys who have had too much red cordial, running around in their Mardi Gras singlets and shorts, fumbling an egg-shaped ball for 3 hours. Add to this the 7000 different rules & you can see why this game has not been embraced anywhere else in the world.

Compare this sad little game’s growth and popularity around the world to other games like Football and the Rugby codes and it becomes clear what a dismal failure the controllers of this sport have been in trying to grow their game. Football, for example, is played in every country on the planet with most countries having some sort of organised competition right through to the multi-billion dollar leagues of Europe which are watched weekly throughout the world. A bit different to the VFL’s struggle to get people in Sydney to tune in. Even Gridiron has some sort of international profile, which is an achievement in itself considering how well liked the Yanks are around the globe.

Celebrate 150 years or commiserate? Perhaps the popularity of the game is a reflection of the narrow-minded, insular minds of the people who run, report on and support this sorry excuse for a sport.

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Reader responses

• Gweeds from The Accidental Australian
• Jack Fisher and Shane Rowe
• Walter Mackelly